I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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