she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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