and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
he puts the penis in happiness.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
