BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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