Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
