I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
