I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
