dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
