Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
