My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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