did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
