she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
