East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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