I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
