we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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