He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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