I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
