i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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