oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
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