she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
