If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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