We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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