so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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