Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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