then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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