I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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