he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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