it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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