was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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