You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
