I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
