oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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