He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
