i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
