i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
