be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
