pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
