haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
