there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
