The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
