my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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