There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
