Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
