yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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