He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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