If that was your dad, he is hot
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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