he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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