Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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