why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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