How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
