When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
